Christmas Dinner

I made a centerpiece for the Christmas table.  Just a simple arrangement of greenery in a vintage camping coffee pot.  This afternoon I am going shopping to purchase a new tablecloth.  My dining room doubles as our schoolroom which makes decorating and creating ambiance a bit of a challenge.  However, after some cleaning and rearranging I think I have it ready for feasting.  Looking forward to cooking and eating together around the table.

Dinner

Rosemary Roasted Chicken

Creamy Mashed Potatoes

Gravy

Almond Green Beans

Wilted Spinach Salad

Yeast Rolls

Desserts

Chess Pie

Christmas Candy

Cookies

What Teens Really Need

Yesterday, I was told a story about two very great kids we know, a young man and women, who were caught in the library making out. I chuckled at the story...who knows if it is even true.  Both, age16, come form great homes and are homeschooled.  Again I just chuckle...not because I am laughing at the indiscretion or making fun in the least, it's just funny how we homeschool moms think that homeschooling will somehow insulate our teens from the normal processes of growing up.  I was kind of laughing at myself, knowing that in some sense the way I have chosen to parent could leave me vulnerable to such gossip.  It could happen to any of us.

And what if it does?!
Will the world come to an end?
Will all our efforts have been for nothing?

These fears reflect a very deep rooted heart condition, a condition that is hard to admit and face.  To face these fears is not simple, it requires true inquiry and reflection, and a willingness to be undone.

To be undone is a work of humility.

It's crazy that we even wrestle with these fears...the very fact that I am alive and well and striving to live a life before God is proof that indiscretions do not ruin teenagers...I had plenty, and I survived. I was a good girl, but I made out with my husband before I married him.  My teenage girls know this, we have talked about love and sexuality and attraction and marriage...I have shared my heart with them and also my experiences, letting modesty and discretion be my guide. I do not glorify sin...but I do not see sin in everything...and this is what teens need.

Teens need real.
Teens need mercy.
Teens need relationship.
Teens need lots of conversation.
Teens need fun.
Teens need trust.
Teens need firm convictions.
Teens need unconditional love.
Teens need prayer.

Parenting with fear seems to be the norm these days, and I am guilty at times.  This culture has turned structures upside down, and it is scary...very scary.  Sometimes I watch my teens and I think; this is all they know, this culture is all they know.  Reality is that we are a part of this culture, and we will either cower in fear or face it head on, and the struggle will not leave us unscathed whichever path we choose.  There will be indiscretions...every generation has had indiscretions.

Parenting teens brings me to my knees.  In prayer I know that I must resist the urge to bolt from my heart and rule with an iron fist of fear.  In His hands, and living in His presence will see us through, for Love conquers all.  Love is the opposite of fear.

Perfect love casts out fear.  1 John 4:18    

How to Not Be Empty

Beware of the barrenness of a busy life. -Socrates

I really don't know when I got it in my head that I desperately needed to outsource in our homeschool to be successful.  After Samuel was born I think I was determined not to let another baby hold my older children back from their goals (my goals is more like it). It was a great plan, so I thought... just let someone else teach them, hold them accountable.

What followed was a year of schooling outside the home, in co-ops and online.  How I reasoned that packing this gang of five up in a car and traveling an hour one way was an easier way to educate my upper level students is kinda foggy...but I do vaguely remember my husband warning me, counseling me, shaking his head at me.

At first we were cooking with gas...getting lots of educational stuff done, making friends, going to fun activities, and in general just enjoying the new day to day.  We were busy, and in the beginning that felt as if we were thriving.  However, after a little while I noticed that our lives were becoming less and less centered at home. My cooking became weird, our prayers too sparse, everyone was going in different directions, the littles were being cared for but not cared for, I was growing more and more discontent, and in general just feeling disconnected with myself and my family, especially my husband.

And then a few weeks ago I hit a wall, circumstances collided and my choices became clear...all that is left now is to correct course.  My mom commented, "Mandy, thank goodness you have things you can cut without hurting anyone...the activity and busyness of your life can be easily remedied."  Her comments are those of a woman who knows what it is like to have responsibilities that cannot be remedied.

The ability to correct busyness is a blessing, almost like a gift, and I am very grateful for the freedom to choose the life I desire and need.

I see now that my outsourcing was about fear and pride...it was me believing that our home life was not enough...that I was not enough.  Ironically, it is the outsourcing that is causing a true emptiness, an exhaustion and distraction that makes me unavailable. It also refocuses our life on things that are not bad in themselves, but result in a deep and true distraction nonetheless.

So, here is my remedy for emptiness...how to not be empty...Go Home!

Women leave home for many reasons, and I only judge myself, we all have stories.   Sometimes home seems the most empty place on earth and outsourcing presents itself as a remedy, and for some this may be true.  However, for me my home is a fountain of grace, a constant outlet of energy, and a nourishing refuge.  Home is my remedy for emptiness, my journey has taught me this.

Housework

No scouring for pride

Spare kettle whole side

Though scouring be needful, yet scouring too much

Is pride without profit, and robbeth thine hutch.

-Thomas Tusser

Ancestors of God

 
It occurred to me in Church yesterday that everything I was experiencing in the Liturgy was according to gender.  In the Orthodox Church we worship as male and female, and this is something missing in modern Christianity.  The roles of males and females are not interchangeable in the Orthodox tradition.

Nothing in Orthodoxy is generalized.  Everything has a created identity...even trees, water, bread, etc. Everything has a true material meaning as it is...not as we make it.  Creation is something that we must receive as reality, and this includes gender.  Roles are derived from identity...the role of a tree is that of a tree, because it is a tree.   A tree cannot sing, even if we imagine the beautiful rustling of leaves to be a choir.

The roles of male and female must derive from gender, because we are male and female.  Perhaps the first iconoclastic disaster was the removing and mingling of gender roles...and the modern Christian Church has participated in this obliteration of creation.

In the Orthodox Church there are very clear and defined gender roles.  And rather than this being a restriction, we celebrate this as our liberation...to be what we are created to be, male and female.

He created them male and female.

Iconoclasm has deep consequences...it is a heresy.  What has replaced the creation of "in His Image" is a world of our own making...and the consequences will be our destruction.  For only in the true image are we created, we cannot be something "other".  We are not God, we are His creation.

He created them male and female.

The safest place for our gender confusions is in the Church.  In the Orthodox Church we do not spiritualize gender...we live our gender through roles...literal roles.  Male and female are not interchangeable.

He created them male and female.

I will make a bold and radical statement:

The rejection of the icon is the destruction of reality.  Iconoclasm will destroy the world.

My name day was Saturday, and as I pondered the icon of Joachim and Anna at the golden gate I grieved for a world that is void of such images.  I shudder at the images of the world.  I cling to the Image of God in the icon.

In the embrace of Joachim and Anna lies the ancestral heart of Christianity, as if every begat is made present in that one embrace.

Man and woman, embracing, conceiving, begetting.

All those begats, the lists we say are boring, that we like to skip over, they are the real story, the real story of man, the reality of our salvation.

He created them male and female.

Christian marriage is that embrace...the embrace that begets...and when it doesn't we hurt, we cry out, we suffer.

Anything "other" will never be "in His Image", it will never be Christian.

He created them male and female.




  



  







   



 

I Have Missed You

It's been a long season of no blogging...and I cannot explain why.  I have been busy, yes, but that's not it.  I think I was just too lazy to write anything, and when I did have the enthusiasm I spent it on other things.

But, I have missed it.  I have missed it because I miss my Orthodox connections and friends.  I did not realize how much of a part of my life you all were...all you wonderful Orthodox bloggers.  I visit your sites from time to time, but I have not participated in the network.

It's made me really think of the wonderful support we are for each other. Orthodox life is difficult when we try to go at it alone, and sometimes we do not find the kind of support we need in our parishes.  Mostly I am speaking of homeschooling, but the support also extends to the everyday life of an Orthodox family that is seeking to live the faith in the home.  I have missed the support I received from writing here regularly.

I hope I can reestablish the habit of blogging...because now more than ever I feel a kind of distraction here in the outside world that scares me.  Many of my friends have confessed the same thing...a strong distraction.  Somehow I think blogging in a group of Orthodox women kept me centered and focused, at least focused on different things, good things.

Thank you for reading my blog....thank you for commenting...and thank you for being my blogging friends.  I have missed you dearly.

Holy Friday

Keeping the lights low. Asking everyone in the house to be mindful of the noise.  Hush little children.  Today we mourn.  We mourn, but not without hope.  

A Good Day

We stopped at the Fort Worth Zoo to see the lions, Samuel's favorite.

We drove through Big D headed to Granny's.  Frank Sinatra played on the stereo.  We met Pa Glen and Amma for dinner before the party.

Granny (Gigi, the greats call her) celebrated her 85th birthday.  So happy to be with her on this special day. 

The great grands had a blast seeing each other and catching up...what a beautiful bunch of kiddos.

Honoring the Process

When I was a young teenage girl my mom and dad traveled to Indonesia on a missionary trip.  Of all the stories they came back with I remember one in particular.  The home where my parents stayed belonged to a middle class Indonesian family and they had three small children.  My mother was very intrigued by the way the mother of the home handled her children.  The maternal grandmother also lived in the home, and she was as much a part of the children's daily care as the mother.

What impressed my mother the most was how well behaved the little boys were...how pleasant.  As she watched the ladies care for the children she was shocked to see that the word "no" was hardly ever used.  In fact, most of the day was spent following the children around and gently redirecting, letting the children explore, climb, and play at will.  The mother or grandmother stood by quietly, always watching and ready to catch, hold, and otherwise facilitate the child's self direction while securing their safety.

One afternoon my mother witnessed the oldest boy eating his lunch while riding his bike in the street with his friends.  The mother was standing on the other side of the front yard fence with a bowl of rice and vegetables, and every few minutes the boy would ride up to the fence and get a bite from her then return to riding.  He ate the entire bowl while playing with his friends.

As a mother I just love that image.

Motherhood is a wondrously complicated and highly individual art. It is shaped by unfathomable impressions, memories, experiences, and nuances.  It is absolutely impossible to know what a mother is supposed to do or why she does what she does.  These things are shaped by something unseen, something that resides in the heart of the mother and is incomprehensible to others.  I told the story above to share just how this heart is developed.  Like a magnet that attracts all the metal in the junk drawer, a woman has been collecting her mother conscious all her life.  The boy on the bike eating his lunch in freedom was given to me second hand, and yet it has been a powerful metaphor for child raising in my own experience.  This is miraculous when one ponders the nature of how we humans go about caring for our young.

I think that most of the skills, knowledge, and abilities we have as mothers are gained through the organic process of living.  And if we stay connected to the vast storehouse that is the present moment we have everything we need to be a good mother.  I have heard women say, "I was never taught how to be a good mother."  And I agree if what is meant by this statement is more truthfully, I never had an example of a good mother in my life.  However, I do not think this makes it impossible to be a good mother...what wisdom and heart can be found in the pain of a troubled childhood.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

The greatest tool I have ever used as a mom is awareness...just practicing awareness.  In each moment, if I am truly present I am always enough.  I am never perfect, but I am enough.  Within my heart I have everything I need to love and cherish and mother my children...it's all there, everything I have collected and experienced has brought me to this moment, and I can trust my own heart.  Honoring this process and recognizing it is dynamic is the tricky part.  This gaining and collecting process is ongoing and very much alive.  It is natural to change and grow as a mother as I live longer...motherhood is not static.

Another aspect to this process is that as a community of mothers it would be wonderful if we honored the process in each other.  When a mom says she needs support she is not asking for advice or the latest parenting self-help book per se.  What she needs is for someone to get to know her well enough that she can share her heart with that person.  And it is in the sharing of the heart that women come to themselves, that they learn through communal sharing...women are very communal.  When we honor each other we intrinsically honor ourselves, and this type of friendship is authentic and life giving.

I suspect that the reason I have been struggling with my parenting lately is because I have not been honoring the process...I tend to demand a type of static perfection.  And this is lazy parenting. Awareness demands that I stay present, plugged in, and connected with my kids.  As far as I know Moses has not come down off the mountain with the 10 laws of motherhood, oh wouldn't that be easy...or maybe not.

Maybe being a good mother is kind of like standing at the fence and feeding the child while he rides his bike...being that stable source of nourishment while the child rides like the wind.  Maybe it's just being willing to roll with it and trust that what's in my bowl is enough.  Maybe it is acknowledging where and how my bowl is filled.

 And maybe what makes a great friend and support is that I honor that process in you.              


                

Brace Yourself

Before...

 After.

Today Adalay got her braces off.  How exciting.  We went for cheese burgers afterwards and shopping for girly stuff...makeup, soaps, and hair products.  I love my time with Addy.  It is wonderful to parent teens....enjoying the journey today.  

Sanctity of Life Sunday 2015

Archpastoral Message of His Beatitude, Metropolitan Tikhon

To the Venerable Hierarchs, Reverend Clergy, Monastics, and Faithful of the Orthodox Church in America:

Dearly beloved,

Today (January 18), has been designated by the Orthodox Church in America as “Sanctity of Life Sunday,” a day on which we re-affirm our faithfulness to the eternal value of human life and re-commit ourselves to the defense of the lives of the unborn, the infirm, the terminally ill and the condemned.

Our proclamation of life is offered in the context of a world in dismay at the terrorist attacks that recently shook Paris, the latest in a series of seemingly endless tragedies throughout the world that unnecessarily claim many innocent lives.  Following this latest tragedy, Christians, Muslims, Jews and non-believers have engaged in discussion and debate about a range of issues, from human dignity to the responsibilities of political cartoonists, from freedom of expression to humanity’s capacity for tolerance.  Unfortunately, much of this debate is framed in an atmosphere of ideological violence, whether this be a “war on infidels” or “war on terrorism.”  In such divisive engagements, there are rarely any victors but only more victims.

As Orthodox Christians, who hold dear the revealed truth that the life of “all mankind” is
sacred, we might reflect, along with St. Nikolai of Zhicha, on the paschal victory of Christ over death and corruption:

“Christ’s victory is the only victory in which all humanity can rejoice, from the first-created to the last. Every other victory on earth has divided, and still divides, men from one another. When an earthly king gains the victory over an another earthly king, one of them rejoices and the other laments. When a man is victorious over his neighbor, there is singing under one roof and weeping under the other. There is no joyful victory on earth that is not poisoned by malice: the ordinary, earthly victor rejoices both in his laughter and in the tears of his conquered enemy. He does not even notice how evil cuts through joy.”

Our world is so full of these joyless and dark victories that we might despair of being able to put forward the hope and light of the Gospel message. We would do well to heed the words of St. Nikolai and keep our hearts and minds focused on our Lord, God and Savior Jesus Christ, in Whom alone can solace, hope and joy be found in any meaningful and lasting way.

Indeed, Christ did not say: “I offer one of many complimentary paths”;  He said: I am the Way. Christ did no say: “I hold to the correct philosophical principles;” He said: I am the Truth. Christ did not say: “I subscribe to the only viable political agenda;” He said: I am the Life.

It is only possible to attain to this Way, this Truth and this Life through Christ and through the light that He bestows to those who strive to allow even a small beam of that light to enter their hearts and illumine their path. As St. Nikolai writes: “Christ’s victory alone is like a sun that sheds bright rays on all that are beneath it. Christ’s victory alone fills all the souls of men with invincible joy. It alone is without malice or evil.”

Let us therefore make every effort to offer this “victory of light and life” to those who are surrounded by darkness and death. Let us be bold in our adding our Orthodox voices in support of the value of every human person, born or unborn; let us offer consolation to the mothers who have undergone abortions and offer our prayers to them and to all who have been affected by this tragedy; let us affirm our Orthodox understanding of the human person as created in the image and likeness of God and yet in need of healing in Christ.

Let us, together with St. Nikolai, proclaim the great victory of Christ:

"A mysterious victory, you will say? It is; but it is at the same time revealed to the whole human race, the living and the dead.

"A generous victory, you will say? It is, and more than generous. Is not a mother more than generous when she, not once or twice, saves her children from snakes but, in order to save them for all time, goes bravely into the snakes’ very nest and burns them out?

"A healing victory, you will say? It is, healing and saving forever and ever. This gentle victory saves men from every evil and makes them sinless and immortal. Immortality without sinlessness would mean only the extending of evil’s reign, and of that of malice and wickedness, but immortality with sinlessness gives birth to unconfined joy, and makes men the brethren of God’s resplendent angels.”

With love in the Lord,
 
+TIKHON
Archbishop of Washington
Metropolitan of All America and Canada

Homemaking Inspiration

I was able to steal away for a couple of hours on Monday after I dropped my older girls off at drama practice.  I went to my favorite book store and bought the second Madame Chic book with my birthday money.  It is a really soft and yummy read.  I love homemaking books...and cafe lattes.

Throughout my homemaking journey so far I have discovered a few inspirational resources that I return to over and over again.  I love my home...but I have not always loved it like I should. In those times of drudgery I turn to my library.  Today I thought I might share a few favorites with you.

The Spirit of Loveliness   Emilie Barnes.  Anything by Emilie Barnes is good when it comes to homemaking.  However, this book is my favorite.

Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman  Anne Ortland.  A classic, but written in a more formal style.

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy  Sarah Ban Breathnach.  This book is wonderful for reviving the seasons and learning to love the everyday little things.  However, I do not ascribe to much of her religious philosophy in this book.  I read it for seasonal inspiration.

My Lady of Cleves  Margaret Campbell Barnes.  I love the womanliness of Anne in this book.  She is the fourth wife of Henry VIII.  If you enjoy Tudor drama...you will love this book.  This historical fiction is well written and always seems to draw me in.  The myth of beauty is debunked in the portrayal of the woman Henry VIII called a Flanders Mare.  Anne's beauty is what I consider true beauty, and too bad for King Henry that he did not appreciate it. She would have been a wonderful wife and queen.

 The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and "Woman's Work"    Kathleen Norris.  This is a very introspective and spiritual look at a woman's vocation.

Less Stress

Mark Zuckerberg is a genius, but not for the obvious reason of being one of the co-founders of Facebook. He is also the networking website's CEO, and is said to have a net worth of over $30 billion...still not why I think he is a genius.  His one dollar salary from Facebook is pretty great, but again I am not all that impressed by numbers, big or small.

What I am impressed by are his habits, the habits that are the foundation for his success.  When my husband told me that Zuckerberg wears a gray t-shirt almost everyday my ears perked up, and not because my husband was making a case for his own gray t-shirt, the t-shirt he says is lucky, the t-shirt he wears every time it is clean, the t-shirt that I don't "get".

My wheels began to turn because of the reason Zuckerberg gives for this very quirky habit.  He says that deciding what to wear everyday is a "silly" thing that he would rather not waste time on.  After a quick search I came up with a quote of his concerning his gray t-shirt that I thought was what embodied this young entrepreneur's real genius,

"I really want to clear my life so that I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve this community."

He also thinks deciding what he will eat for breakfast is a waste of time.  And I could not agree more.  How did this young fella learn this at such a young age...how to manage energy in this way?  I am just now learning the principal of energy conservation and how to manage stress from the inside out not the outside in.

When I was a young mother and wife I thought that managing time, stress, and energy meant I needed to overhaul my house, make strict schedules, and crack down on discipline.  After stumping my toe on that perfectionist bed post enough times I have slowly become aware of where the stress that makes life "undoable" comes from and how to go about managing my life in a real and sustainable way.

The most important thing I have learned is that stress is an internal battle, not an external problem.  There are real external challenges that we face as human beings living on this flawed planet; sickness, disease, poverty, conflict, and pain. But the stress we feel as we live among the thorns and thistles is something of a phenomenon that occurs when we cannot surrender.  Being out of control, in any shape or form is what stress is all about.  The real trick of living in this world is to become aware of what we can and cannot control and act accordingly.

Over and over again I notice that successful people live the serenity prayer:

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
The courage to change the things I can, 
and especially, The wisdom to know the difference.  

To know the difference...that is key.
To know the difference between what I can and cannot control.

What I wear, what I eat for breakfast are all under my control...for now.  These are simple decisions that do not have to be a stress...they can become passionless.  And when the ascetics speak of passionlessness I wonder if this is how to walk that out in everyday life?  Passionlessness for a mother and wife is about "doing" without passion.  What I wear should not make me anxious or lustful or prideful.  And this is where a gray t-shirt everyday comes in handy.  Simplicity practiced on a regular basis is a great tool in calming of the passions.

Simple habits of success.
Simple habits that eliminate unnecessary passion.
Simple habits that conserve energy that would best be spent elsewhere.

It is hard for me to admit that stress is a passion.  It is hard for me to imagine a life without stress...is it even possible?  And then I ponder the Panagia and her life. Her fiat makes it all clear, "Be it unto me according to Thy word."

Her habit, her way, her pondering, her perfection...made perfect in surrender.

Stress is not a habit of the Kingdom.

Lately I have been pondering where my stress really comes from, and the passions that cause it.  I am also learning to accept  what I cannot change and stop wasting energy on those things.  I am learning to recognize the sources of my stress...things like perfectionism, sentimentalism, pride, greed, and unbelief...learning to stop sinful thoughts and thought patterns.  Stress begins with imaginations.

Managing a home is a lot like managing a corporation, and I am the CEO of this enterprise.  What kind of a leader am I?  Home management is not about perfectionism...it is about creating an environment where stress is at a minimum... where passionlessness is a goal.  It is about creating a haven from the world of pain and sorrow, a place where those who need rest find it in it's fullness, body and soul.

I like Zuckerman's attitude.  He wants to eliminate stress to be able to serve his community better.  I like that...eliminating stress is not about making "me" feel better (although it is a great side effect).

Eliminating stress is about having the energy to serve God and my family better.

It's what I work towards...what I seek...what I hope for... passionless passion.

Prayer to Our Lord Jesus Christ 

O Ruler of all, Word of the Father, O Jesus Christ, Thou Who art perfect: For the sake of the plenitude of Thy mercy, never depart from me, but always remain in me Thy servant. O Jesus, Good Shepherd of Thy sheep, deliver me not over to the sedition of the serpent, and leave me not to the will of Satan, for the seed of corruption is in me. But do Thou, O Lord, worshipful God, holy King, Jesus Christ, as I sleep, guard me by the Unwaning Light, Thy Holy Spirit, by Whom Thou didst sanctify Thy disciples. O Lord, grant me, Thine unworthy servant, Thy salvation upon my bed. Enlighten my mind with the light of understanding of Thy Holy Gospel; my soul, with the love of Thy Cross; my heart, with the purity of Thy word; my body, with Thy passionless Passion. Keep my thought in Thy humility, and raise me up at the proper time for Thy glorification. For most glorified art Thou together with Thine unoriginate Father, and the Most-holy Spirit, unto the ages. Amen.

 - Prayer of St. Antiochus

Slap Her

Girls shouldn't be hit, not even with a flower.

Daily Docket

Special Day- Birthday, Name day, Feast day, Holiday, Saint.

Pace- What speed do I have to go today?  Do I really need to be running like a hare, or can I take it slow like a turtle?  Knowing the pace of the day is good for me.

Priorities- What are the top 5 things I have to get done today?  Did Slade ask me to do something for him?  Do we have appointments?  Do I need to pay a bill or make a phone call?

Parenting- A mommy focus for the day.  A special lunch for Elinor.  A walk with Sophia. Be patient and speak softly today.  Play airplane with Sam.  Talk with Addy late tonight.  Practice piano with Caroline.

Partner- Something sweet, something small, something kind, something for Slade.

The Plan- A skeleton for the day...when I will do what's on the docket.

Daily Readings- One sentence that captures something inspirational from my readings.

Prayers- Just a reminder, a little circle to remind me to make prayer a priority.

Pantry to Pot- Start dinner at breakfast.  Make meal times intentional and nutritious.

Project- If I have time what is one project I can tackle today?

Professor- What are the school goals for today?

  Water- Remember to stay hydrated.

Feeling Better

Over the Christmas holiday I have been as sick as I can remember.  Samuel , sadly, has been just as bad and even worse.  We had a virus run through the house, but it hit Samuel and I the hardest.  After one trip to the doctor, two trips to the urgent care, three different antibiotics for secondary infections, and every home remedy we could throw at this bug we are finally feeling a bit like our normal selves.   I am still fighting an ear infection, but it seems to be healing slowly. 

Somewhere around day five of this quarantine I began to relax, and then it hit me.  Maybe my lack of rest in general is why my body is not recovering like the others.  Sam and I have not slept well in months and months...and I think it just finally caught up with us. When I gave in and just let things be what they were going to be I began to see the tight knot that is wound up inside of me.  I am just plain tired, but the adrenaline I am addicted to that makes it possible for me to function is hard to resist.

And when Mamas get this run down we must resist adrenaline.
We must stop pushing through and rest.

Resting has been very good, and I have been eating nourishing food, sleeping late, and going very slow.  This has given me much time to think about my health.  I have also had plenty of time to sit and contemplate ways to better care for myself and my family.

When I look ahead at 2015 I can see some major projects, possibly a move, a heavy work load, and schedule.  And all these things are good.  However, I can also see that my inward state needs some nurturing if I am going to enjoy health and happiness this year.  I need better strategies to help me not feel so overwhelmed.

Here are a few things I am going to try...

Leaving Facebook

One giant step toward health for me is the choice to leave social media, Facebook in particular.  I once left Facebook for seven years, and I did much better with my inner life.  It has taken me a while to understand why I have this love/hate relationship with it.  It is not that Facebook is evil or wrong or anything like that.  I love the interaction and the keeping up with friends and family.  For me it is neurological. Something about the format makes me nervous...the scrolling and how my eyes jump from one thing to the next.  The amount of information is too much for me.  And once I start on this feast of information I get bogged down in it, and I spend way too much time on this site.  I know, I know, I could be more mature and set limits and all that...but I don't.  I think the site's design (the actual layout, advertisements, colors, lines, etc.) is very addictive for me.

Redefining my morning routine  

For a year I have been very angry that I cannot have the solitude that I think I need in the mornings. During this illness I came to terms with this and had a sort of funeral for my mornings in my mind...I must let that go and get into the groove of my baby.  That means I will have a new morning routine.  Instead of books and coffee and even lengthy prayers I am going to enjoy Sam.  A friend who had six kids  (I only had three at the time) told me that someday my mornings would be different...she was right.  She told me that she prayed a morning offering prayer before her feet ever hit the ground, and that was the foundation for her day.  She too was a lover of contemplation and books and coffee.  However, her life demanded that she take advantage of her mornings in a different way.  I am going to follow my friend and quiet my soul in this area.  I holler calf-rope, and it feels so good.

Revisiting my menu planning

My grocery budget is insane.  I know that food is expensive, but I could do better in this area.  My menus need to be simplified.  I have a five week menu cycle that I made when I had three kids, none of which ate like adults.  With two teenagers in the house and a tween that eats as much as her sisters, it is time to remake my menus to be more frugal.  What I spend on groceries stresses me, and it should...it's too much!  I know my lack of planning and organization is the major problem.  Some ideas I have are to make double batches of soups, beans, casseroles, etc. and freeze them.  Also, I need to take advantage of sales and stock up on things we use more often.  Another strategy I have is to grocery shop early Saturday morning when the stores are quiet.  This one change would greatly reduce my stress in this area, and allow me to focus.

Refocusing our homeschool 

I have been in serous homeschool burn out mode this year.  It just feels so tedious and overwhelming.  And the truth is, it is!  Homeschooling this many kids, all at different ages and stages is a hard work.  But, it is my work...it is what I am called to do.  Through the prayers of the Panagia and Righteous Anna I am strengthened...  I do not labor alone or in vain.  I am reorganizing the school room, refreshing books, and working toward a more peaceful atmosphere.

Vespers on Wednesday nights

I would love to have this time of prayer on a weekly basis, but the long drive to the Hermitage or our Parish might makes this unrealistic.  For now I want to attempt once a month.

I told Slade today that the illness during Christmas was a blessing.  It forced me to stop...stop everything and really listen, really see.  I am thankful that we are all on the mend and that the new year has come.  What goals or resolutions do you have for the New Year?  I hope you are feeling the peace of Christ this season and the joy of His abiding love.  He is always with us.

Happy New Year friends!  

Saint Joseph the Betrothed

Happy name day, Slade.  God grant you many years.

Christ is Born

*A little late, but wanted to share.

Well, it is not the Christmas I had planned, but maybe it's even better. My girls are cooking everything! I am sick, along with the babies, and am not able to get in the kitchen. Addy and Caroline have taken charge, and let me say I am more than impressed. In the lineup we have roast, mashed potatoes, almond green beans, two buttermilk pies, peanut butter bars, banana nut bread, and a green salad. Also they are making a Greek tray with the stuffing for dolmades I made two days ago. They are rolling away. Also making tzatziki with pita chips. I cannot believe it actually...it really is something to watch. It is the best Christmas present ever watching my girls cook like women! Christmas does not happen when we get everything done or everything perfect...Christmas is what we do together...what we share. Christ is born! He is in our midst! He is and ever shall be.

Christmas Gifts for a Homeschool Mom

The average "gifts for mom" list is not necessarily a good fit for a homeschool mom.  Don't get me wrong...I love perfume and scarves and expensive handbags just like the average girl, but if you really want the wow factor for this homeschool mom of five I have a better list.  Maybe you can forward this post to your hubby or whoever is asking you that pressing question, "What do you want for Christmas?"  I hope this list will inspire you to answer with every bit of the quirkiness that defines a homeschool mom.  

Just a bit fun...happy shopping everyone.

The Best Crock Pot on the Market

My large crock pot has a hairline crack in the removable porcelain crock.  I am afraid to do too much in it, and I am for sure not transporting it anywhere.  Crock pots are a homeschool mom's best friend in the kitchen.  We can start dinner at breakfast and as the house is permeated with the smell of lemony chicken it is so reassuring to know supper is on. 

 An Amazing Coffee Pot

My coffee pot is trying to peter out on me...and that just cannot happen.  I currently have to jiggle the cord to get the green power light to appear.  I wait every morning in suspense...it's just too stressful.

 A Large Utility Tote from Thirty One

This is such a great gift for a homeschool mom.  This tote can be used for picnics, as a library tote, camping, day trips, etc.  One use I would like it for is to stock my car with a mommy survival kit.

A Prime Account from Amazon

I already have this gift, but I had to include it.  Free Shipping for books!  Are you kidding...this is a homeschool mom's dream!    

 A Laminator

This gift is over the top.  The one I want is a little pricey, but oh so cool.  I would love it to make dry erase activities for my littles, flashcards specific to the things we are learning, saving works of art...the possibilities are endless.  

 Wireless Color Inkjet Printer with Scanner and Copier

What a tongue twister...but never mind that.  This little beauty makes the homeschool day to day much easier.  The copier is a godsend. 

 A Comb Binding Machine

This is so dreamy...now I can spend my summer making the kind of workbooks we love...suited just for us.  I would trill with delight if I opened this gift.

And for the stocking... 

 Livescribe Notebook by Moleskine

I love the feel, the smell, and the size of the Moleskine notebooks.  It is very inspirational to write in something of this quality.  Keeping a daily journal is a great way that homeschool moms can unwind and reflect.  

 Free Time Coupons 

This could come in the form of a coupon booklet if you would like something to unwrap.  It's easy to make them on the computer or just make them with colored pencils and crayons.  12 would be perfect...12 Free Time coupons that I can spend...like say once a month.  It is nice to have time alone sometimes.  

Sharpies 

Yes...I said Sharpies.  I love to have those around, but I am always too cheap to buy them for myself.  I want a big set...just love office supplies.

  

A Country Christmas

We celebrated the Butler Christmas at a ranch in Abilene. My sister-in-law's family invited us for a weekend in the country, and it was perfect.  I cannot remember when I have had a better time.  It was relaxing and hearty...good for the soul and senses.  Country folk really do have the most fun...especially if those country folk are from Texas!

Simple gifts...nothing extravagant.

Rustic ambiance. 

A warm and cozy bunkhouse.  My oldest brother Josh said, "This feels like church camp."

We gather in the kitchen.  Lots of great conversation.

Tamales and our parents!  Two of my favorite things.

Lots of cooking.

More cooking.

A porch swing.

Cheese and wine.

The best food.  Featuring a prime rib with horseradish sauce and au jus. 

Outdoor fun!  We also took a Christmas carol hayride underneath the Abilene starlit sky.

Four wheelin' on trails.  Throwing rocks in the pond.  Looking for wildlife.  Kickin'up dirt! 

A large covered porch for outdoor fun.

A spirited game of spoons!

Cousins are the best!

Amma brought a bag of Christmas books to read to the grands!

 Christmas dishes with red solo cups...what's more country than that?  

 The girls made blankets together!

The smiles come easy.

The dogs are in heaven.