What Teens Really Need

Yesterday, I was told a story about two very great kids we know, a young man and women, who were caught in the library making out. I chuckled at the story...who knows if it is even true.  Both, age16, come form great homes and are homeschooled.  Again I just chuckle...not because I am laughing at the indiscretion or making fun in the least, it's just funny how we homeschool moms think that homeschooling will somehow insulate our teens from the normal processes of growing up.  I was kind of laughing at myself, knowing that in some sense the way I have chosen to parent could leave me vulnerable to such gossip.  It could happen to any of us.

And what if it does?!
Will the world come to an end?
Will all our efforts have been for nothing?

These fears reflect a very deep rooted heart condition, a condition that is hard to admit and face.  To face these fears is not simple, it requires true inquiry and reflection, and a willingness to be undone.

To be undone is a work of humility.

It's crazy that we even wrestle with these fears...the very fact that I am alive and well and striving to live a life before God is proof that indiscretions do not ruin teenagers...I had plenty, and I survived. I was a good girl, but I made out with my husband before I married him.  My teenage girls know this, we have talked about love and sexuality and attraction and marriage...I have shared my heart with them and also my experiences, letting modesty and discretion be my guide. I do not glorify sin...but I do not see sin in everything...and this is what teens need.

Teens need real.
Teens need mercy.
Teens need relationship.
Teens need lots of conversation.
Teens need fun.
Teens need trust.
Teens need firm convictions.
Teens need unconditional love.
Teens need prayer.

Parenting with fear seems to be the norm these days, and I am guilty at times.  This culture has turned structures upside down, and it is scary...very scary.  Sometimes I watch my teens and I think; this is all they know, this culture is all they know.  Reality is that we are a part of this culture, and we will either cower in fear or face it head on, and the struggle will not leave us unscathed whichever path we choose.  There will be indiscretions...every generation has had indiscretions.

Parenting teens brings me to my knees.  In prayer I know that I must resist the urge to bolt from my heart and rule with an iron fist of fear.  In His hands, and living in His presence will see us through, for Love conquers all.  Love is the opposite of fear.

Perfect love casts out fear.  1 John 4:18    

How to Not Be Empty

Beware of the barrenness of a busy life. -Socrates

I really don't know when I got it in my head that I desperately needed to outsource in our homeschool to be successful.  After Samuel was born I think I was determined not to let another baby hold my older children back from their goals (my goals is more like it). It was a great plan, so I thought... just let someone else teach them, hold them accountable.

What followed was a year of schooling outside the home, in co-ops and online.  How I reasoned that packing this gang of five up in a car and traveling an hour one way was an easier way to educate my upper level students is kinda foggy...but I do vaguely remember my husband warning me, counseling me, shaking his head at me.

At first we were cooking with gas...getting lots of educational stuff done, making friends, going to fun activities, and in general just enjoying the new day to day.  We were busy, and in the beginning that felt as if we were thriving.  However, after a little while I noticed that our lives were becoming less and less centered at home. My cooking became weird, our prayers too sparse, everyone was going in different directions, the littles were being cared for but not cared for, I was growing more and more discontent, and in general just feeling disconnected with myself and my family, especially my husband.

And then a few weeks ago I hit a wall, circumstances collided and my choices became clear...all that is left now is to correct course.  My mom commented, "Mandy, thank goodness you have things you can cut without hurting anyone...the activity and busyness of your life can be easily remedied."  Her comments are those of a woman who knows what it is like to have responsibilities that cannot be remedied.

The ability to correct busyness is a blessing, almost like a gift, and I am very grateful for the freedom to choose the life I desire and need.

I see now that my outsourcing was about fear and pride...it was me believing that our home life was not enough...that I was not enough.  Ironically, it is the outsourcing that is causing a true emptiness, an exhaustion and distraction that makes me unavailable. It also refocuses our life on things that are not bad in themselves, but result in a deep and true distraction nonetheless.

So, here is my remedy for emptiness...how to not be empty...Go Home!

Women leave home for many reasons, and I only judge myself, we all have stories.   Sometimes home seems the most empty place on earth and outsourcing presents itself as a remedy, and for some this may be true.  However, for me my home is a fountain of grace, a constant outlet of energy, and a nourishing refuge.  Home is my remedy for emptiness, my journey has taught me this.

Ancestors of God

 
It occurred to me in Church yesterday that everything I was experiencing in the Liturgy was according to gender.  In the Orthodox Church we worship as male and female, and this is something missing in modern Christianity.  The roles of males and females are not interchangeable in the Orthodox tradition.

Nothing in Orthodoxy is generalized.  Everything has a created identity...even trees, water, bread, etc. Everything has a true material meaning as it is...not as we make it.  Creation is something that we must receive as reality, and this includes gender.  Roles are derived from identity...the role of a tree is that of a tree, because it is a tree.   A tree cannot sing, even if we imagine the beautiful rustling of leaves to be a choir.

The roles of male and female must derive from gender, because we are male and female.  Perhaps the first iconoclastic disaster was the removing and mingling of gender roles...and the modern Christian Church has participated in this obliteration of creation.

In the Orthodox Church there are very clear and defined gender roles.  And rather than this being a restriction, we celebrate this as our liberation...to be what we are created to be, male and female.

He created them male and female.

Iconoclasm has deep consequences...it is a heresy.  What has replaced the creation of "in His Image" is a world of our own making...and the consequences will be our destruction.  For only in the true image are we created, we cannot be something "other".  We are not God, we are His creation.

He created them male and female.

The safest place for our gender confusions is in the Church.  In the Orthodox Church we do not spiritualize gender...we live our gender through roles...literal roles.  Male and female are not interchangeable.

He created them male and female.

I will make a bold and radical statement:

The rejection of the icon is the destruction of reality.  Iconoclasm will destroy the world.

My name day was Saturday, and as I pondered the icon of Joachim and Anna at the golden gate I grieved for a world that is void of such images.  I shudder at the images of the world.  I cling to the Image of God in the icon.

In the embrace of Joachim and Anna lies the ancestral heart of Christianity, as if every begat is made present in that one embrace.

Man and woman, embracing, conceiving, begetting.

All those begats, the lists we say are boring, that we like to skip over, they are the real story, the real story of man, the reality of our salvation.

He created them male and female.

Christian marriage is that embrace...the embrace that begets...and when it doesn't we hurt, we cry out, we suffer.

Anything "other" will never be "in His Image", it will never be Christian.

He created them male and female.




  



  







   



 

I Have Missed You

It's been a long season of no blogging...and I cannot explain why.  I have been busy, yes, but that's not it.  I think I was just too lazy to write anything, and when I did have the enthusiasm I spent it on other things.

But, I have missed it.  I have missed it because I miss my Orthodox connections and friends.  I did not realize how much of a part of my life you all were...all you wonderful Orthodox bloggers.  I visit your sites from time to time, but I have not participated in the network.

It's made me really think of the wonderful support we are for each other. Orthodox life is difficult when we try to go at it alone, and sometimes we do not find the kind of support we need in our parishes.  Mostly I am speaking of homeschooling, but the support also extends to the everyday life of an Orthodox family that is seeking to live the faith in the home.  I have missed the support I received from writing here regularly.

I hope I can reestablish the habit of blogging...because now more than ever I feel a kind of distraction here in the outside world that scares me.  Many of my friends have confessed the same thing...a strong distraction.  Somehow I think blogging in a group of Orthodox women kept me centered and focused, at least focused on different things, good things.

Thank you for reading my blog....thank you for commenting...and thank you for being my blogging friends.  I have missed you dearly.

Holy Monday

This lent has been the most difficult.  I have been extremely distracted, not wanting to dive into the full experience.  It has also been a hard Lent in terms of dealing with inward sins and weaknesses.  I feel like I have been dug up, and now it's time to replant.

At Lazurus Saturday services I saw that not every Lent will be the same, and that this Lent is not a failure...maybe something deeper is at work.  I am weak; emotionally and physically, and the hymns of the service made me realize that I cannot resurrect myself.  I need a Savior.  I am powerless, and this flesh will rot if it is left in the grave.

Lent is almost over, Pascha is drawing near...our Savior draws near. And I am the laborer who has come at the last hour.  May we all labor in the last hour.  Blessed Holy Monday.

Sanctity of Life Sunday 2015

Archpastoral Message of His Beatitude, Metropolitan Tikhon

To the Venerable Hierarchs, Reverend Clergy, Monastics, and Faithful of the Orthodox Church in America:

Dearly beloved,

Today (January 18), has been designated by the Orthodox Church in America as “Sanctity of Life Sunday,” a day on which we re-affirm our faithfulness to the eternal value of human life and re-commit ourselves to the defense of the lives of the unborn, the infirm, the terminally ill and the condemned.

Our proclamation of life is offered in the context of a world in dismay at the terrorist attacks that recently shook Paris, the latest in a series of seemingly endless tragedies throughout the world that unnecessarily claim many innocent lives.  Following this latest tragedy, Christians, Muslims, Jews and non-believers have engaged in discussion and debate about a range of issues, from human dignity to the responsibilities of political cartoonists, from freedom of expression to humanity’s capacity for tolerance.  Unfortunately, much of this debate is framed in an atmosphere of ideological violence, whether this be a “war on infidels” or “war on terrorism.”  In such divisive engagements, there are rarely any victors but only more victims.

As Orthodox Christians, who hold dear the revealed truth that the life of “all mankind” is
sacred, we might reflect, along with St. Nikolai of Zhicha, on the paschal victory of Christ over death and corruption:

“Christ’s victory is the only victory in which all humanity can rejoice, from the first-created to the last. Every other victory on earth has divided, and still divides, men from one another. When an earthly king gains the victory over an another earthly king, one of them rejoices and the other laments. When a man is victorious over his neighbor, there is singing under one roof and weeping under the other. There is no joyful victory on earth that is not poisoned by malice: the ordinary, earthly victor rejoices both in his laughter and in the tears of his conquered enemy. He does not even notice how evil cuts through joy.”

Our world is so full of these joyless and dark victories that we might despair of being able to put forward the hope and light of the Gospel message. We would do well to heed the words of St. Nikolai and keep our hearts and minds focused on our Lord, God and Savior Jesus Christ, in Whom alone can solace, hope and joy be found in any meaningful and lasting way.

Indeed, Christ did not say: “I offer one of many complimentary paths”;  He said: I am the Way. Christ did no say: “I hold to the correct philosophical principles;” He said: I am the Truth. Christ did not say: “I subscribe to the only viable political agenda;” He said: I am the Life.

It is only possible to attain to this Way, this Truth and this Life through Christ and through the light that He bestows to those who strive to allow even a small beam of that light to enter their hearts and illumine their path. As St. Nikolai writes: “Christ’s victory alone is like a sun that sheds bright rays on all that are beneath it. Christ’s victory alone fills all the souls of men with invincible joy. It alone is without malice or evil.”

Let us therefore make every effort to offer this “victory of light and life” to those who are surrounded by darkness and death. Let us be bold in our adding our Orthodox voices in support of the value of every human person, born or unborn; let us offer consolation to the mothers who have undergone abortions and offer our prayers to them and to all who have been affected by this tragedy; let us affirm our Orthodox understanding of the human person as created in the image and likeness of God and yet in need of healing in Christ.

Let us, together with St. Nikolai, proclaim the great victory of Christ:

"A mysterious victory, you will say? It is; but it is at the same time revealed to the whole human race, the living and the dead.

"A generous victory, you will say? It is, and more than generous. Is not a mother more than generous when she, not once or twice, saves her children from snakes but, in order to save them for all time, goes bravely into the snakes’ very nest and burns them out?

"A healing victory, you will say? It is, healing and saving forever and ever. This gentle victory saves men from every evil and makes them sinless and immortal. Immortality without sinlessness would mean only the extending of evil’s reign, and of that of malice and wickedness, but immortality with sinlessness gives birth to unconfined joy, and makes men the brethren of God’s resplendent angels.”

With love in the Lord,
 
+TIKHON
Archbishop of Washington
Metropolitan of All America and Canada

MYSTAGOGY: An Annual Theophany Miracle - The Jordan Reverses ...

MYSTAGOGY: An Annual Theophany Miracle - The Jordan Reverses ...: "Today the nature of water is sanctified. The Jordan is parted and reverses its flow on seeing its Master being baptized."

Less Stress

Mark Zuckerberg is a genius, but not for the obvious reason of being one of the co-founders of Facebook. He is also the networking website's CEO, and is said to have a net worth of over $30 billion...still not why I think he is a genius.  His one dollar salary from Facebook is pretty great, but again I am not all that impressed by numbers, big or small.

What I am impressed by are his habits, the habits that are the foundation for his success.  When my husband told me that Zuckerberg wears a gray t-shirt almost everyday my ears perked up, and not because my husband was making a case for his own gray t-shirt, the t-shirt he says is lucky, the t-shirt he wears every time it is clean, the t-shirt that I don't "get".

My wheels began to turn because of the reason Zuckerberg gives for this very quirky habit.  He says that deciding what to wear everyday is a "silly" thing that he would rather not waste time on.  After a quick search I came up with a quote of his concerning his gray t-shirt that I thought was what embodied this young entrepreneur's real genius,

"I really want to clear my life so that I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve this community."

He also thinks deciding what he will eat for breakfast is a waste of time.  And I could not agree more.  How did this young fella learn this at such a young age...how to manage energy in this way?  I am just now learning the principal of energy conservation and how to manage stress from the inside out not the outside in.

When I was a young mother and wife I thought that managing time, stress, and energy meant I needed to overhaul my house, make strict schedules, and crack down on discipline.  After stumping my toe on that perfectionist bed post enough times I have slowly become aware of where the stress that makes life "undoable" comes from and how to go about managing my life in a real and sustainable way.

The most important thing I have learned is that stress is an internal battle, not an external problem.  There are real external challenges that we face as human beings living on this flawed planet; sickness, disease, poverty, conflict, and pain. But the stress we feel as we live among the thorns and thistles is something of a phenomenon that occurs when we cannot surrender.  Being out of control, in any shape or form is what stress is all about.  The real trick of living in this world is to become aware of what we can and cannot control and act accordingly.

Over and over again I notice that successful people live the serenity prayer:

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
The courage to change the things I can, 
and especially, The wisdom to know the difference.  

To know the difference...that is key.
To know the difference between what I can and cannot control.

What I wear, what I eat for breakfast are all under my control...for now.  These are simple decisions that do not have to be a stress...they can become passionless.  And when the ascetics speak of passionlessness I wonder if this is how to walk that out in everyday life?  Passionlessness for a mother and wife is about "doing" without passion.  What I wear should not make me anxious or lustful or prideful.  And this is where a gray t-shirt everyday comes in handy.  Simplicity practiced on a regular basis is a great tool in calming of the passions.

Simple habits of success.
Simple habits that eliminate unnecessary passion.
Simple habits that conserve energy that would best be spent elsewhere.

It is hard for me to admit that stress is a passion.  It is hard for me to imagine a life without stress...is it even possible?  And then I ponder the Panagia and her life. Her fiat makes it all clear, "Be it unto me according to Thy word."

Her habit, her way, her pondering, her perfection...made perfect in surrender.

Stress is not a habit of the Kingdom.

Lately I have been pondering where my stress really comes from, and the passions that cause it.  I am also learning to accept  what I cannot change and stop wasting energy on those things.  I am learning to recognize the sources of my stress...things like perfectionism, sentimentalism, pride, greed, and unbelief...learning to stop sinful thoughts and thought patterns.  Stress begins with imaginations.

Managing a home is a lot like managing a corporation, and I am the CEO of this enterprise.  What kind of a leader am I?  Home management is not about perfectionism...it is about creating an environment where stress is at a minimum... where passionlessness is a goal.  It is about creating a haven from the world of pain and sorrow, a place where those who need rest find it in it's fullness, body and soul.

I like Zuckerman's attitude.  He wants to eliminate stress to be able to serve his community better.  I like that...eliminating stress is not about making "me" feel better (although it is a great side effect).

Eliminating stress is about having the energy to serve God and my family better.

It's what I work towards...what I seek...what I hope for... passionless passion.

Prayer to Our Lord Jesus Christ 

O Ruler of all, Word of the Father, O Jesus Christ, Thou Who art perfect: For the sake of the plenitude of Thy mercy, never depart from me, but always remain in me Thy servant. O Jesus, Good Shepherd of Thy sheep, deliver me not over to the sedition of the serpent, and leave me not to the will of Satan, for the seed of corruption is in me. But do Thou, O Lord, worshipful God, holy King, Jesus Christ, as I sleep, guard me by the Unwaning Light, Thy Holy Spirit, by Whom Thou didst sanctify Thy disciples. O Lord, grant me, Thine unworthy servant, Thy salvation upon my bed. Enlighten my mind with the light of understanding of Thy Holy Gospel; my soul, with the love of Thy Cross; my heart, with the purity of Thy word; my body, with Thy passionless Passion. Keep my thought in Thy humility, and raise me up at the proper time for Thy glorification. For most glorified art Thou together with Thine unoriginate Father, and the Most-holy Spirit, unto the ages. Amen.

 - Prayer of St. Antiochus

Daily Docket

Special Day- Birthday, Name day, Feast day, Holiday, Saint.

Pace- What speed do I have to go today?  Do I really need to be running like a hare, or can I take it slow like a turtle?  Knowing the pace of the day is good for me.

Priorities- What are the top 5 things I have to get done today?  Did Slade ask me to do something for him?  Do we have appointments?  Do I need to pay a bill or make a phone call?

Parenting- A mommy focus for the day.  A special lunch for Elinor.  A walk with Sophia. Be patient and speak softly today.  Play airplane with Sam.  Talk with Addy late tonight.  Practice piano with Caroline.

Partner- Something sweet, something small, something kind, something for Slade.

The Plan- A skeleton for the day...when I will do what's on the docket.

Daily Readings- One sentence that captures something inspirational from my readings.

Prayers- Just a reminder, a little circle to remind me to make prayer a priority.

Pantry to Pot- Start dinner at breakfast.  Make meal times intentional and nutritious.

Project- If I have time what is one project I can tackle today?

Professor- What are the school goals for today?

  Water- Remember to stay hydrated.

Feeling Better

Over the Christmas holiday I have been as sick as I can remember.  Samuel , sadly, has been just as bad and even worse.  We had a virus run through the house, but it hit Samuel and I the hardest.  After one trip to the doctor, two trips to the urgent care, three different antibiotics for secondary infections, and every home remedy we could throw at this bug we are finally feeling a bit like our normal selves.   I am still fighting an ear infection, but it seems to be healing slowly. 

Somewhere around day five of this quarantine I began to relax, and then it hit me.  Maybe my lack of rest in general is why my body is not recovering like the others.  Sam and I have not slept well in months and months...and I think it just finally caught up with us. When I gave in and just let things be what they were going to be I began to see the tight knot that is wound up inside of me.  I am just plain tired, but the adrenaline I am addicted to that makes it possible for me to function is hard to resist.

And when Mamas get this run down we must resist adrenaline.
We must stop pushing through and rest.

Resting has been very good, and I have been eating nourishing food, sleeping late, and going very slow.  This has given me much time to think about my health.  I have also had plenty of time to sit and contemplate ways to better care for myself and my family.

When I look ahead at 2015 I can see some major projects, possibly a move, a heavy work load, and schedule.  And all these things are good.  However, I can also see that my inward state needs some nurturing if I am going to enjoy health and happiness this year.  I need better strategies to help me not feel so overwhelmed.

Here are a few things I am going to try...

Leaving Facebook

One giant step toward health for me is the choice to leave social media, Facebook in particular.  I once left Facebook for seven years, and I did much better with my inner life.  It has taken me a while to understand why I have this love/hate relationship with it.  It is not that Facebook is evil or wrong or anything like that.  I love the interaction and the keeping up with friends and family.  For me it is neurological. Something about the format makes me nervous...the scrolling and how my eyes jump from one thing to the next.  The amount of information is too much for me.  And once I start on this feast of information I get bogged down in it, and I spend way too much time on this site.  I know, I know, I could be more mature and set limits and all that...but I don't.  I think the site's design (the actual layout, advertisements, colors, lines, etc.) is very addictive for me.

Redefining my morning routine  

For a year I have been very angry that I cannot have the solitude that I think I need in the mornings. During this illness I came to terms with this and had a sort of funeral for my mornings in my mind...I must let that go and get into the groove of my baby.  That means I will have a new morning routine.  Instead of books and coffee and even lengthy prayers I am going to enjoy Sam.  A friend who had six kids  (I only had three at the time) told me that someday my mornings would be different...she was right.  She told me that she prayed a morning offering prayer before her feet ever hit the ground, and that was the foundation for her day.  She too was a lover of contemplation and books and coffee.  However, her life demanded that she take advantage of her mornings in a different way.  I am going to follow my friend and quiet my soul in this area.  I holler calf-rope, and it feels so good.

Revisiting my menu planning

My grocery budget is insane.  I know that food is expensive, but I could do better in this area.  My menus need to be simplified.  I have a five week menu cycle that I made when I had three kids, none of which ate like adults.  With two teenagers in the house and a tween that eats as much as her sisters, it is time to remake my menus to be more frugal.  What I spend on groceries stresses me, and it should...it's too much!  I know my lack of planning and organization is the major problem.  Some ideas I have are to make double batches of soups, beans, casseroles, etc. and freeze them.  Also, I need to take advantage of sales and stock up on things we use more often.  Another strategy I have is to grocery shop early Saturday morning when the stores are quiet.  This one change would greatly reduce my stress in this area, and allow me to focus.

Refocusing our homeschool 

I have been in serous homeschool burn out mode this year.  It just feels so tedious and overwhelming.  And the truth is, it is!  Homeschooling this many kids, all at different ages and stages is a hard work.  But, it is my work...it is what I am called to do.  Through the prayers of the Panagia and Righteous Anna I am strengthened...  I do not labor alone or in vain.  I am reorganizing the school room, refreshing books, and working toward a more peaceful atmosphere.

Vespers on Wednesday nights

I would love to have this time of prayer on a weekly basis, but the long drive to the Hermitage or our Parish might makes this unrealistic.  For now I want to attempt once a month.

I told Slade today that the illness during Christmas was a blessing.  It forced me to stop...stop everything and really listen, really see.  I am thankful that we are all on the mend and that the new year has come.  What goals or resolutions do you have for the New Year?  I hope you are feeling the peace of Christ this season and the joy of His abiding love.  He is always with us.

Happy New Year friends!  

Christ is Born

*A little late, but wanted to share.

Well, it is not the Christmas I had planned, but maybe it's even better. My girls are cooking everything! I am sick, along with the babies, and am not able to get in the kitchen. Addy and Caroline have taken charge, and let me say I am more than impressed. In the lineup we have roast, mashed potatoes, almond green beans, two buttermilk pies, peanut butter bars, banana nut bread, and a green salad. Also they are making a Greek tray with the stuffing for dolmades I made two days ago. They are rolling away. Also making tzatziki with pita chips. I cannot believe it actually...it really is something to watch. It is the best Christmas present ever watching my girls cook like women! Christmas does not happen when we get everything done or everything perfect...Christmas is what we do together...what we share. Christ is born! He is in our midst! He is and ever shall be.

Thoughts Before Confession

Simple people have simple ways, and for this reason I have often thought that they are the real gurus in this world.  It is strange how complicated I can make things when in reality most things are simple.  But simple things are often the hardest things to do.  Like how I used to stress and strain about ways to clean the house...I searched and searched for organizing ideas, schedules, and tips when in fact cleaning my house was and remains real simple...all it takes is for me to get up and clean it. Just do it.  These kind of distractions and complications often go undetected by people like me...always inquiring and learning and researching, creating intellectual drama and wasting energy.

When a simple person wants to cook dinner not a thought is given to Pinterest or Paleo...no just the cupboard, maybe an old favorite, a simple meal without stress.

When a simple person wants to read the Bible they just pick up the Scriptures and read...no need for commentary or getting lost in translations and interpretations...the Psalms suit them just fine.

Tasks are not regulated, generated, formulated, or calculated...just doing the next thing...hands so familiar with the vocation that little or no thought is given to "am I doing this right?" or "could I do this better?"

An ordinary ease...that thought sounds heavenly.

And ordinary does not imply Utopia.  Ordinary means that the shock has gone out of life and the muscles needed to bear the load are well exercised...life is easy not because it is free of burdens or sin, but because the burden is well supported, almost absorbed by simple ways.

Drama is the birth child of complication.  Simplicity will restore a sense of purity and peace.

Let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Too many words, too much knowledge seeking, too much psychological delving.

Let the day unfold with the tasks it requires to live...seek out the hidden places of the heart, not the mind.  Bring forth repentance in the simplest of ways...like looking in a mirror.  Darkness is simple...no need to know why.

Confession is not complicated, it is as simple as saying the truth with exact speech.  Humility never speaks in riddles.  I am a sinner.  Very simple.

The complicated world will convince harried souls that there is no way out...we have descended the downward spiral staircase and we can never come up again...we are all too grownup now.  But if I am still and if I am quiet and if I stop listening to the Dramatic Fantasy...I know that to follow Christ is real simple.  It's not easy, but it is real simple.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.  Matthew 5:8  

A Few Nativity Pictures

A collection of Christmas books.

Wrapped up to be a sweet surprise for the evenings of December as we prepare for Jesus to be born.

Our Jesse tree.  We have since abandoned the hanging of the ornaments.  Brother Bear seems to have decided that all paper products should be torn to shreds.  We are reading, praying, and lighting a candle.  However, I often find myself praying this prayer, "Lord please accept this very imperfect prayer."  Evening prayers are interesting with a toddler and baby.  The interruptions and noise make me feel like we are just scraping by sometimes.  But, we keep practicing.  Glory to God for all things.

Give Thanks in the Struggle

I think it is impossible to give thanks without struggle.  And we cannot fully know one another's struggles...the best we can do is just try to bear burdens by listening.  It is amazing how very little we can know of another...really know...and yet it is awesome how connected we can be at the same time.  Family is just that paradox...so connected yet not fully knowing.  In a family, it is those moments that bind us together that matter most.  Those moments that make up for the "not knowing"...those acts that connect us on an unseen level.

This summer my family was made complete in the Orthodox church.  My father and sister-in-law were chrismated together, the last of our clan to enter the Church.  It is really amazing when I think about it.  My entire immediate family are Orthodox, and my maternal grandmother as well.  We have not worshiped together as a family in over twenty years.  And it was a struggle.  Because faith connects families on unseen levels.  My father let me pick out his church name, Titus. My sister-in-law took Nonna.  It was a beautiful day.

I know it is a great struggle to possess the wonder, beauty, and truth of Orthodoxy and not be able to connect with those you love the most...at least not on the unseen level. What is one to do in a family of non-Orthodox?  I learned this the hard way...be gentle.  Let go of control.  Preach the gospel and when necessary use words.  And know that even if it never happens...God is Love...He is good...and His mercy endures forever.

I am so thankful for the Church...that my family worships together...that we are once again connected spiritually.  That thankfulness is sweet because of the struggle...the pain of being disconnected for so many years.  The journey was long and continues as we are converted everyday...every moment.  I am so very thankful.  

A Journey to Nativity

I mentioned in my last post that I was working on a Journey to Nativity calendar.  Well, I finished it! Can you believe it is only 6 weeks until Christmas?  Approximately.

Every year I try to get ahead of the busyness of the season by making a loose plan for the holidays.  The Nativity fast begins on the 15th of this month, and it would be nice to be a bit more organized and intentional this year.  When I say loose, I mean that my plan is just a spine.  I am sure that I will add to it, and not get to some of the activities on my calendar.

I divided my days into four categories:

Cleaning/Organizing
Cooking
Caring
Sharing

I do not have activities planned for each category for every day. That would be impossible.  I tried to schedule things with peace and good will in mind.  I love Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We have so many cultural and spiritual traditions that make this season the highlight of the year. I love to ready my home, cook, and enjoy all the music and treats.  The calendar I made does not include spiritual readings.  However, I am using a little book entitled Daily Meditations and Prayers for the Christmas, Advent Fast and Epiphany.  

If you would like to see my calendar just click on the link:

A Journey to Nativity

Below I have included just a few things we are planing to include on our Journey to Nativity.

Reading Through Nativity

I plan on doing this with the books I have on hand.  I am going to wrap them up, put them under the tree, and let the littles open them once a week for a new Christmas story treat!

Saint Martin Story to share! November 11

I wrote this little story for my kids last year.  I read it aloud while they made leaf rubbed vellum lanterns.  Feel free to print and share.  This is also a great time to clean out the coat closet and replenish coats, hats. gloves, and scarves.  Donate gently used items to a shelter.

Entrance of Theotokos November 21

On this day the kids and I are going to go to church and then drop off all of our baby items as a donation to a local pregnancy outreach center.  The troparion of the feast can be sung at meals and prayer times. 

Troparion:

Today is the preview of the good will of God,

Of the preaching of the salvation of mankind.

The Virgin appears in the temple of God,

In anticipation proclaiming Christ to all.

Let us rejoice and sing to her: Rejoice,

0 Divine Fulfillment of the Creator's dispensation.

Feast of Saint Nicholas December 6

Shoes left by the front door filled with chocolate coins and a small gift.  We love reading the stories of Saint Nicholas.  Click the image for the link.

Saint Lucia Festival of Lights  December 13

  Click on the image for the link.  

  

Saint Barbara Bonfire December 17

After Saint Barbara was martyred by her own father he was struck by lightening.  It is tradition to celebrate this day with fire...maybe some fireworks/sparklers.  Serve some spiced cider and read the story of this great saint. Don't forget s'mores!

   A few things to think about as the Nativity Fast approaches and we prepare for Christ's birth:

• A lenten menu.
• When will you confess?
• Gifts for priests and their families.
• Making room in the budget for charitable giving.
• Readings, inspirational books, and prayers!

Well, I hope this little post is as helpful to you as it is me.  Happy planning!  

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

Christ in Our Midst

Tonight I headed out to the art shed to look for a set of Logic books that I need for a class I am thinking about teaching in the spring.  When I opened the door to this small space I was aghast at it's condition.  My two oldest daughters use this space the most, and it was amazing to me that such little care is taken with all the very expensive art supplies in their room.  This space is intended to be an artist's retreat...a renovated plant shed fully furnished with oils, canvases, watercolors, chalks, charcoal, drawing pencils, instruction books, etc.  I left the little wreck of a room quite angry.  Before prayers I had a chat with the girls about caring for our home and respecting the things in it as objects of great value.  Because things do have value...and not just monetary value. They have value in themselves.

In a world that has gone spiritually mad it is often difficult to understand the material world...to value it in such a way that elevates it as holy.  And yes, I believe paint and pencils and books are holy things, along with everything else in the created world.  One of my favorite authors, Madeleine L'Engle, sums it up quite nicely in her wonderful book Walking on Water, 

 “There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.” (And if you love the subjects of art and faith this is a must read...a must purchase.)

When I first read that book in my early twenties it was like a butterfly effect in my life...a small change that created an earthquake later down the road.  And since, I have been utterly undone by the knowledge of the Incarnation and its implications.  A simple shift, yet so profound...no longer must the material world be subject to the murderous accusation of being evil, or worse, mundane. No longer must men decide if some thing is good...if some thing is evil.  Everything God created is good!

Christ became man, taking on flesh, showing that man can become by grace what Christ is by nature...we become the body of Christ.  Christ showed us that the material world is good, and real, and valuable.  It's all very deep, and I do not intend to get in over my head in theology.  But, at the same time I know that this knowledge, however limited and shallow, has changed my life. This knowledge can change one's entire inner posture and experience.  Because of Christ man has the power to redeem his world....to live the incarnation.  Every good work is essentially an incarnational work.  And what we would deem as bad works, or sin, have no material value because evil cannot create anything.

But, I am a common housewife...busy with so-called mundane tasks...tasks that go unnoticed and undervalued by a world that is high on ideological promises and rhetoric.  A world that believes ideas change the world, not home cooked meals and prayers before bed.  How can this common housewife be anything more than the one saddled with all the unpleasant necessaries...the stuff that has to be done so we can get on with the real business of the world?  Is my work really valuable...the work of my hands?  Is it incarnational...dirty diapers, really?  

And yet, here I am tonight thinking about art supplies and how they are holy and how if my children will value them it will grow in them a heart after God.  And how lately I have been in a modern mood...not really valuing things...and barely tolerating people.  A momentary lapse of heart...that's what it really is.

After I came in from the art shed I opened the altar cabinet doors, and I decided to take care of something valuable...something I have been neglecting...the liturgical supplies.  Incense has permeated the wood along with the earthy smell of beeswax.  It is a wonderful smell, and it did my heart good to touch the things in the cabinet, holy things.  I looked across my living room and an interesting thought crossed my mind...everything in this room is holy. This is the antidote for my modern mood...for my lack of enthusiasm.  Every thing and every person in this home has value...in and of itself.  And I am the keeper...the keeper at home...the keeper of home.

My work is holy.  And every thing I encounter in my day; the laundry, the crying, the dishes, the food, the neighbor, the phone call...every demand, every interruption, every failure, every trill of laughter is...

Christ in our midst.

Most days these kinds of thoughts do not pass through my mind. Most days I just get up and put my work boots on...one at a time.  But sometimes it is good to remember, especially when life begins to stretch me thin and and I feel like my work is drudgery.  Sometimes we keepers at home can get in a bad way.

Tomorrow I am going to help the girls make things right in the art shed.  I plan on cooking a nice dinner and finishing up the laundry.  I hope to steal away for a bit and finish my Journey to Nativity calendar.  There's always school that needs doin', and babies that need rockin', and dishes that need washin'.  And I am going to read this post again in the morning...and remind myself that all of this...this big life that wears me out...it's holy...it's valuable...it's incarnational.

It's Christ in our midst.

Happy Children

Happy is he who still loves something he loved in the nursery: He is not broken in two by time; he is not two men, but one, and he has saved not only his soul, but his life." G.K. Chesterton

Homeschooling: Just keep practicing.

This is the time of year that I reflect on our home school journey... I evaluate, I ponder, and I make decisions.  I think it is better to do this now... at the end of the school year... rather than wait until fall when I will be hopelessly idealistic....right now I am a realist.  The end of a school year makes realists of most homeschool families.  This year we welcomed a new little fella into our lives, and man did I have a time trying to manage all of the schoolwork, housework, and activities with the joys and concerns of an infant. However, we did manage...we made it, and it was a great year! We are very blessed.

Homeschooling is a never-ending learning experience on so many levels.  It really is a lifestyle.  That is why home school articles are so peculiar.  Among articles detailing curriculum, schedules, and methods an inquirer will also find plenty of advice on relationships, homemaking, and spirituality.  And that really is the best home school advice..the kind that gets down to the reality of home life. I have often wanted to express to new homeschooling mothers the importance of getting the bones right, then worry about the books!  I am still working on the bones...it is my daily work.

One hard lesson I have learned this year is that juggling all the balls takes practice.  I keep dropping the balls... fumbling around with awkward hands. That means I have to stop, pick them up again, and keep practicing.

Do you ever feel like you drop the ball?

It is just part of the experience.  It takes humility to keep practicing...I pray for humility.

A friend once told me that four children were manageable by her own strength, but the fifth took God's strength.  This mom has since graduated from nursing school...while homeschooling and raising five kiddos.  I am learning this lesson as I stubbornly try to manage by my own strength.

How does a mom learn to lean on God's strength?  Isn't that just an overused cliche...some pat answer we spout when no meaningful solution presents itself?

 Maybe.

However, many times this year I have been at my rope's end. And in those moments, among the chaotic emotional noise, there is also peace...it's like a deep well that I must descend.  Go deeper..dig deeper..into the peace of God.  In those moments I have a choice. I can accept my imperfection, stand before God with an honest heart, and pray, "Lord, help me."  Leaning on God's strength does not mean that He rescues me from this life..this life I chose.  No, it means that He helps me.  He just helps me.  And this co-op...this cooperation... is what homeschooling is ALL about.

In the spirit of humility we take on the task of Raising Them Right...it is hard work.  It takes strength beyond ourselves.  As I make plans for next year I feel more than ever before that I will need help.  Join me here as I take you through my process...maybe we can inspire one another, pray for one another, and encourage one another to keep practicing.  Check back for a few inspiring topics!

Would the Perfect Mother Please Stand Up?

Getting the Bones Right

When to Call in Reinforcements

Is Technology My Friend?

Babies First

Homeschooling Tweens & Teens

Where is Sophie?  How not to forget the middle children.

The Domestic Church  

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Saint Helen

Happy Name Day, Elinor!

May God grant you many years.

Click on the image for the link.

The Farmer

To all those farmers praying for rain...

Who make a living, or not, depending on forces out of their control...

To my brother, who as a child the farmers would call and say, "Ask Josh to pray for rain."  And it would.

To all the animals who search for food and shelter in this hard drought...

To men and women who leave clean and come home dirty...

To my grandfather, who died tragically doing what he loved...farming.

To those who fill my tummy from the work of their hands...

To God who established seed time and harvest, and who makes all things grow, and who knows best.

Thank you.