Long Cold Winter

"Ho, Mouse!" says Hare.

"Long time no see!"

So they pop white corn. 

And they brew black tea.

            -Bear Snores On

Homemaking Inspiration

I was able to steal away for a couple of hours on Monday after I dropped my older girls off at drama practice.  I went to my favorite book store and bought the second Madame Chic book with my birthday money.  It is a really soft and yummy read.  I love homemaking books...and cafe lattes.

Throughout my homemaking journey so far I have discovered a few inspirational resources that I return to over and over again.  I love my home...but I have not always loved it like I should. In those times of drudgery I turn to my library.  Today I thought I might share a few favorites with you.

The Spirit of Loveliness   Emilie Barnes.  Anything by Emilie Barnes is good when it comes to homemaking.  However, this book is my favorite.

Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman  Anne Ortland.  A classic, but written in a more formal style.

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy  Sarah Ban Breathnach.  This book is wonderful for reviving the seasons and learning to love the everyday little things.  However, I do not ascribe to much of her religious philosophy in this book.  I read it for seasonal inspiration.

My Lady of Cleves  Margaret Campbell Barnes.  I love the womanliness of Anne in this book.  She is the fourth wife of Henry VIII.  If you enjoy Tudor drama...you will love this book.  This historical fiction is well written and always seems to draw me in.  The myth of beauty is debunked in the portrayal of the woman Henry VIII called a Flanders Mare.  Anne's beauty is what I consider true beauty, and too bad for King Henry that he did not appreciate it. She would have been a wonderful wife and queen.

 The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and "Woman's Work"    Kathleen Norris.  This is a very introspective and spiritual look at a woman's vocation.

Birthday Season

August- Samuel- Age 1

Blue icing cupcakes and a simple evening with just us.  Birthdays at this age are always spent at home with good food and cake!

November- Sophia- Age 9

Strawberry cake and a sleepover.  Sophia got a a real bow, and she loved it.

December- Caroline- Age 13

Chocolate cake and a dance party.  30+ of her friends and family cut a rug in our shop.  Bonfire and Nacho bar.  It was a big one for the new teenager in the house.  See was gifted a harp from her Amma and Pa Glen.  

Birthday season at the Sexton House.

A Few Nativity Pictures

A collection of Christmas books.

Wrapped up to be a sweet surprise for the evenings of December as we prepare for Jesus to be born.

Our Jesse tree.  We have since abandoned the hanging of the ornaments.  Brother Bear seems to have decided that all paper products should be torn to shreds.  We are reading, praying, and lighting a candle.  However, I often find myself praying this prayer, "Lord please accept this very imperfect prayer."  Evening prayers are interesting with a toddler and baby.  The interruptions and noise make me feel like we are just scraping by sometimes.  But, we keep practicing.  Glory to God for all things.

Happy Halloween..in all it's gory!

Hope everyone has a safe and fantastic Halloween.  Don't eat too much candy!  

Fun Fact:

My favorite candy treat is a Butterfinger.  I steal all of them out of the trick-or-treat bags every year.  

Blooms

Well, I have freshened things up a bit!  I will most definitely not be able to post everyday...maybe not even once a week, but I am opening up my blog.  I hope to reconnect with many of you and meet new friends as well.

The Michaelmas Daisies are blooming in my flowerbed.  I love October!  It's good to be back.

My Nature

One of our returning Humming Birds having its breakfast.

Moon flower opening at dusk.

Gladsome Light.

In Flanders Fields

Van Gogh, Field of Poppies

 In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.  

John McCrae, May 1915

May everyone have a blessed Memorial Day as we honor those who gave so much.  And to those who are serving...to their families.  Thank you.

The Farmer

To all those farmers praying for rain...

Who make a living, or not, depending on forces out of their control...

To my brother, who as a child the farmers would call and say, "Ask Josh to pray for rain."  And it would.

To all the animals who search for food and shelter in this hard drought...

To men and women who leave clean and come home dirty...

To my grandfather, who died tragically doing what he loved...farming.

To those who fill my tummy from the work of their hands...

To God who established seed time and harvest, and who makes all things grow, and who knows best.

Thank you.  

Spring Made Me Do It!

Hello...it's been two months since I posted here.  I've missed you.  I thought I would just drop by and post an update on  the happenings around here.  Truth is, I really enjoy writing and sharing on a regular basis.  My mom suggested that I just pop by whenever I get a hankering to write, even if it is just a few sentences. Maybe she is on to something. :)

• I am loving the warmer weather.  This winter has been one for the record books.  I have been struggling with a case of postpartum depression, and winter weather seems to make my struggle all the more difficult.  So, I say, bring on SUN, and the thunder, and lightning, and the southerly breezes, and the mid seventies! (OK, I can dream...in reality it's mid eighties.)
• Our a/c is out, in fact it has been out for a week.  This is a really big deal around here because on most days our house is a bit on the chilly side, we like to keep it cool.  Everyone says we live in an icebox.  It's interesting how living with modern conveniences dulls the natural sensations of the changing seasons.  Today, Caroline commented that yesterday the house was cold and today it was really hot.  I said, "That's Texas in the spring."  It has been good to go without...to realize that we can.
• I have been sleep training Sam for the last few nights.  I know this is controversial, but this Mama was just plain tired.  The first night was difficult, but the second night Sam slept for 12 hours straight!  I slept so hard that I woke up with a headache.  We saw some friends of ours this evening when we were out and about, and my girlfriend commented that I looked tan... like I had been on a vacation.  I laughed so hard, I even gave Slade a high five.  I told her that I was so gorgeous thanks to the first six hour stretch of sleep I have had in over a year.
• The girls and I made a spring bucket list yesterday.  Some things include:

A Greek picnic in the park.
A trip to the Botanical Gardens.
A Texas Rangers baseball game.
A trip to the local Farmer's Market.
Star Gazing in the backyard.
Strawberry picking.
Pascha weekend with Amma and Pa Glen.
Easter egg hunt.
Rock painting.
Perfect our vanilla cupcake recipe.
Fly kites.
Have a family picture made.
Have a backyard barbecue with a few friends.
Plant our garden.

What a fun list!  What are your plans for the Spring?

• I am slowly coming around as far as my health goes.  Pregnancies are so hard on me, for what ever reason, God knows.  After this pregnancy I have noticed this place in my heart that feels like a wound, I feel an intense vulnerability.  I am not as strong as I used to be...or should I say strong willed? I hope in some small way I am made perfect in my weakness.
• I just finished a book entitled People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil.  What a fascinating read for Lent.  Every time I put the book down I vowed to just tell the truth about myself.  It is fascinating to understand the psychology of confession and self examination.  True repentance is the medicine for the sick soul..my sick soul.  And true humility has everything to do with telling the truth.  And it's ok to be transparent because God is so loving and compassionate.
• Addy turns 14 tomorrow!  Wow, what a wonderful year we have had.  She is finishing up her online Classical courses and is training for a summer job teaching a teen Zumba class at the gym where we workout!  She is a great dancer, and her instructor is so excited to have her on her team.  She is gearing up for the local rabbit shows, and writing a speech for 4-H roundup.  She debuted her vocal talents at a local eatery last Saturday night with a mean rendition of Make You Feel My Love by Adele...it was karaoke night!  We laughed so hard and had a blast!  I love teenagers...who knew they would be so much fun! May God grant her many years.
• We spent an entire day last week at St. Arsenius Hermitage cleaning and organizing. It was so nice to be able to spruce things up for Pascha.  Father Gregory placed a new icon in the church courtyard of Jesus with the children.  Another family who came to help planted flowers all around it, and it turned out beautiful.  Father Gregory said that because so many children come to his monastery he would like to have a special icon for them.  My mom and sister-in-law came to help as well, and we cleaned like nuns!  :)  It was a great day.
• Piano lessons are in full swing!  I am so happy for Caroline.  She loves to play the piano, and I believe the new teacher is just what she needs.  I like hard nosed piano teachers!
• Sam is sitting up, and rolling over, and saying dada, and being as wonderful as ever.  He has my heart.  He is ALL boy!
• Elinor told me the other day, "Mama, I don't like to pray."  I said, "You don't?"  She replied, "No, I will just say Saint Helen pray for me in my bed."  With that she exited the laundry room as if she had just signed a treaty.  She makes me smile!
• Sophia is spending the week with Amma and Pa Glen.  She is away from home without her older sisters for the first time.  I know she is having a blast, but she misses us, too.  She is at that stage where the older girls are just a bit too old, and Elinor is just a bit too young.  It's hard, this business of growing up.

Well, I could go on and on, but it's late and I need to take advantage of the sleep Sam is giving me.  I hope your Spring is filled with life!  

I pray for Good Strength for the rest of our Lenten journey. Below is a quote that I am chewing on...enjoy.

Nothing is more opposed to God than pride, for self-deification is concealed in it, its own nothingness or sin. Thus more than anything humility is acceptable to God, which considers itself nothing, and attributes all goodness, honor, and glory to God alone. Pride does not accept grace, because it is full of itself, while humility easily accepts grace, because it is free from itself, and from all that is created. God creates out of nothing. As long as we think that we can offer something of ourselves, He does not begin His work in us. Humility is the salt of virtue. As salt gives flavor to food, so humility gives perfection to virtue. Without salt, food goes bad easily, and without humility, virtue is easily spoiled by pride, vainglory, impatience - and it perishes. There is a humility which a man gains by his own struggles: knowing his own insufficiency, accusing himself for his failings, not allowing himself to judge others. And there is a humility into which God leads a man through the things that happen to him: allowing him to experience afflictions, humiliations, and deprivations.  St. Philaret of Moscow

See you later, alligator!

Well folks, the calendar is filling up and the pantry is almost empty. And this weekend I decided that blogging and busyness don't mix.  I have to take a break for now.

Sam is almost six months old, and he is livelier than ever.  I tease and say that he wakes up in a different world everyday. What a handful! And so cute!

We have stock show season coming up, and the girls want to show pigs this year.  I think it will be great fun, but a lot of work.  We still have rabbits in the barn that need to be worked with and prepared for showing as well.

Great Lent is right around the corner, and all the preparations for Pascha are time consuming.

I have a big garden that needs my attention.  Last year I let it go because I was pregnant.  But, I am looking forward to getting my gardening groove back.

Slade needs me, too.  He is trying to finish the CPA exams by May, and I need to be super diligent with bedtimes, meals, packed lunches, and creating a more study friendly environment in the house during the evening hours.

Something about blogging keeps me a bit off center.  I suppose its my melancholy nature.  I get too deep into things, maybe not in actually posting, but THINKING about posting...and trying to live in a way that I have something to post about.   This may seem ridiculous to some of you, but for me it is a struggle and so unnecessary. Blogging sometimes makes me feel like a fraud.  I have not quite found a way to feel right about it, yet.  Does that make sense?  I know you didn't need all these reasons...but I guess I did.  I write for therapy.  Haha!

I love reading your blogs though!  And hopefully I can stop by often and comment.  I really do enjoy my blogging friends!  Thank you for reading and sharing...it has been fun.  Maybe I will resume in the summer, after Sam turns one.  Until then friends...

See you later, alligator!    

The Winter of My Discontent

Have you ever been discontented with where you live? Or life in general?  Winter is good at that, by exposing the bones of a place.  Winter lays everything bare, and sometimes it is just a little too raw for me.  The sun even shines brighter in the winter, it is a fierce light.  It's as if everything is on display, but naked.  Like the heavenly bodies are shining a bright light on the nakedness of the earth.  I get an itch in the winter that I cannot scratch, a sort of discontentment.  So today I took my camera with me when we ventured out for burgers and a coke for my birthday.  I thought I might see if I could capture the beauty of winter in Texas.  I thought I might look at my neighborhood and see if I could find contentment, even in the winter.  

I was not disappointed.

 As I look at these pictures I am overwhelmed by the good.  

This is my neighborhood...my home.  I get to live here.

And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good.

Maybe the secret is in the looking, really seeing, beholding.

Someone asked Abba Anthony, "What must one do in order to please God?"  The old man replied, "Pay attention to what I tell you: whoever you may be, always have God before your eyes; whatever you do, do it according to the testimony of the holy Scriptures; in whatever place you live, do not leave it.  Keep these three precepts and you will be saved."

The Sayings of the Desert Fathers 

 

 

Game On!

Keep your head when you win, and your heart when you lose.

Just for fun let your heart ponder the meaning of these idioms and how they relate to the game of life:

Keep your head in the game.

Leave it all on the field.

Play your heart out.

It's not all fun and games.

It's a numbers game.

That's the ballgame.

What's the game plan?

At this stage of the game.

I'm game.

Game on.

Two can play at this game.

Don't give the game away.

Cover all your bases.

That came out of left field.

Home free.

Somebody moved the goalposts.

Just run with it.

Touchdown!

Here's to your 2014 season.  I pray it is a winning season...even when you lose.

Happy New Year Everyone!  

  

        

Glorify Him!

I am standing in my kitchen cooking up a storm.  The presents are all wrapped.  Kiddos are watching Christmas movies and singing Christmas carols.  The house smells amazing.  We made it!  We made it to Christmas Eve, and every year I am amazed.

After a lack luster first few weeks, I have found my Christmas spirit.  The days of humbug made me appreciate traditions.  When I was less than enthusiastic about the season I still had our family traditions to keep me from missing Christmas. And as we kept the traditions I slowly found my groove.

Mamas have this wonderful gift...we can make Christmas amazing for our families in the little things we do, in the smile we wear, in the tune we hum, in the giggles, and snuggles, and the sugary treats.  A mom has this energy, and it is infectious.  Food and festivities.  I love serving up scrumptious dishes with a side of I love you.

Christmas is a time of hospitality for me.  As I clean, shop, cook, wrap, and prepare I try to invite a spirit of comfort and warmth into our home.  I have found that the warmth comes from my heart and not in orchestrating a perfect Christmas.  I just love my family and friends.  

Christ is coming, along with friends and family.  We are family.  May our homes and hearts make a place for the Savior, and may we welcome everyone with warmth and joy.

Christ is Born...Glorify Him!

I glory in His presence, He has brought tidings of great comfort and joy.  Christ is in our midst  He is and ever shall be.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

On the Menu

Dinner

Honey Glazed Ham

Mashed Potatoes

Almond Green Beans
Salad 

Yeast Rolls

Tea

Desserts

Martha Washington Candies

Pecan Pralines

Almond Toffee

Craisin and White Chocolate Cookies

Ranger Cookies

Giving Thanks

Today I just wanted to say thank you for reading and sharing here with me.  
I have a big list of to-do's this week, what fun!... and that means no time for blogging.  I hope to be back sometime next week.

I love Thanksgiving!  Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday.
Blessings to you and yours,
Mandy

 

Autumn Fires

Autumn Fires

 by Robert Louis Stevenson

In the other gardens

And all up the vale,

From the autumn bonfires

See the smoke trail!

Pleasant summer over

And all the summer flowers,

The red fire blazes,

The grey smoke towers.

Sing a song of seasons!

Something bright in all!

Flowers in the summer,

Fires in the fall! 

*We have been working on memorizing this poem, using it for copy work and dictation.

The Dying Season

"The Garden of Earthly Delights" (the "Millennium")  Hieronymus Bosch

About ten years ago I discovered and fell in love with the literature of Flannery O'Connor. Her form of horror let me experience the cathartic nature of the grotesque (and literature's role in purging), and how grappling with evil is an intricate part of the journey of faith. Often times I believe horror to be deeply and honestly religious. Confronting my own evil is what it is all about, and this is horrifying. Literature by O'Connor, Twain, Poe, King, and the like make good people nervous.  It's hard to accept that ordinary people do evil things, I do evil things. That is what should scare me the most....not the Other, the delusion that evil exists in the Other and not in me. Every year about this time I revisit Flannery...I love her writing.  

 Autumn is a time of year when the themes of death surround. Grey rainy skies, cold dark nights, bare branches on trees, leaves falling purple, yellow, orange, and red, and gusts of chilly wind.  It's beautiful...this dying season.  It is the perfect time of year to be frightened, a little unnerved.  And yet there is a peaceful quality to autumn that reassures me that death has no sting...Pascha, death has passed us over. 

Halloween brings out all of my ghosts..the things that haunt me.  Fear is a wonderful gift, a purging gift.  I would not want to live in this fallen world without fear.  A fallen man without fear is a monster.

For a good autumn read try:
A Good Man is Hard to Find
&
Wise Blood 

How to Get Your Life Together In a Day

Sometimes I make things so complicated, and truly that is unnecessary.  I realize there are circumstances that require extreme measures, but my life is not one of them.  Why do I get so stressed and anxious...wound up like an eight day clock?  I suspect it is because I am tired, just plain tired.  Being tired is not a sign that my life is falling apart.  Maybe it is a sign that my life is good, that I have a full and wonderful life...so much to be thankful for.

However, when things start piling up, pressing in, and coming undone I know it is time to do something different, settle in and refocus...just tweak things a bit.  There is no need for me to take a magic eraser to my whole life or to go through everything with a fine toothed comb.  Just a gentle redirection is all that is needed.  Gentle, but thorough.  You see, the bones are good, the underneath is still in tact, the anchor is what holds this ship in times of crazy schedules and busy days.  In times past I would begin a complete overhaul when I felt this way, but I have learned that extreme makeovers are most often the acting out of obsessions.  You know...that running dialogue in your head that makes you feel thin and shaky, nervous and irritable.  We moms have to learn to be gentle, even with ourselves.  

A very dear friend asked me the other day if I believed that sometimes there are cases where a person who was once whole could now be broken, with no hope of being whole again.  I listened to the question and took my friend seriously. I told this friend that, yes, I think it is possible, and that she did not have to be whole.  As I have thought about our conversation I have come to the conclusion that we are all broken in some way, and that it is most likely that we always will be.  Being whole is not about being completely put together...there is a reason that all the King's horses and all the King's men could not put Humpty together again.  Life comes down on us, it presses us, it breaks us, and we fall apart.  Once we have been broken there is no way to be whole again...not the kind of whole that we desire.  Being whole often times means we do not want to suffer this life and its trials, we long for naivety and simplicity.  But, those who get out in the world and bare burdens, get hands dirty, work hard, walk with damaged people, befriend the unfriendly, and try to be a part of the world will always be broken..it is inevitable.  The only way I ever imagine that I can avoid this is by shutting the world and people out.  In the end, I would rather be broken.

And this can apply to practical areas of my life as well.  If I desire to be out in the world living and learning with my kids, if I value relationship over everything else, if I put people on the top of my priority list, well then other things suffer...my house, my laundry, my body, my put togetherness.  I always feel that my life is a little undone, a little unkept.  But, in a way this is intentional.  I have chosen other things, to me they are more important things.  When criticisms come, and they will, I must be prepared to OWN my own life and choices.  I must be rooted and grounded in my heart.  I must also be willing to be honest, truthful with myself most of all.  This is the way that I face my life head on and how I deal with brokenness.

Today, as I was dealing with all of the emotions and stress that obsessions cause I waited for the panic to pass.  I got still and a wonderful thought came to me.  It does not take much to Get Your Life Together, Mandy.  In fact I am confident that it only takes one day of gentle internal work to feel better. This is because I am not expecting too much from myself or anyone around me...we are all broken. It is easy to be gentle when I recognize this.  Here are a few things I am doing today to regain a sense of confidence and beauty...how I am getting it together.

I Am...

• Recognizing the dialogue in my head.  I am not trying to change it, just being aware of the Editor in Chief, the voice that keeps bossing me around, criticizing me.
• Writing this post to share my thoughts, getting them out in the open.
• Talking to my mom on the phone and enjoying our friendship.
• Putting on a fresh face and a nice outfit.
• Planning a trip to the pumpkin patch near our house.
• Lighting candles.
• Letting my kids be tired as well, we have been very busy.  No drill sergeant barking or correction.  
• Taking a survey of my pantry and planning the meals I want to cook this week.
• Doing a few loads of laundry.
• Taking care of a speeding ticket that I got a few months back.  I made it through my probation period, and a big stress is off. 
• Opening windows and doors to let the cool fresh breeze in.
• Drinking Ceylon Tea..a new favorite and a wonderful gift from my husband.
• Being quiet and just doing the next thing...gently walking through this house...room by room... accepting and being very thankful.
• Praying the prayer, "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner." Over, and over again.
• Accepting the financial stresses of a large family lifestyle and owning my spending choices.
• Letting my kids be who they are...not requiring that they be caught up, on target, or ahead. 
• Washing dishes in warm soapy water.
• Listening to sounds...a lawn mower, Mockingbirds, eggs boiling on the stove.  Just listen.
• Smelling the things cooking, the fresh autumn air, Samuel's little head, Elinor's sweaty puppy dog yumminess, out of the dryer laundry.
• Waiting for my husband to come home so I can give him a hug.

This is what my day is shaping up to be...a wonderful day, a blessed day, another day to be a mom, wife, daughter, friend. 

   

Fall is Flying

Canada Geese usually arrive in Texas in late September continuing through October.  However, they have been spotted early this year flying overhead.  The signs of fall are in the air; my favorite season for creating, homemaking, and outdoor fun.  The August heat lets up, and everything sighs a sigh of relief.  August is tough in Texas.  But, here at the gateway to the Hill Country, fall arrives just in time, before everything shrivels under the late summer sun.  The air changes and the breeze blows cool and soft.  Trees sway as their foliage slowly gives way to colder temperatures, and the smell of firewood, campfires, and light showers fill the senses.  I love this time of year.